Have you ever wondered why you’re willing to date a man for several months or perhaps several years even though he keeps telling you that he’s not serious, but you are? He may even keep telling you that he’s not interested in anything serious, but you continue to try to change his mind to get him to commit.
You finally break up only to find that he is in a new relationship and actually engaged to be married. And, the worst part about it, is that he’s not engaged to you. Yikes!
This happens all the time in dating relationships. Remember that what he’s thinking is not always what you’re thinking. He may only be thinking that you’re a great friend, sounding board and companion, even if the sex is good. But, at the same time, you’re thinking that you’ve truly found your husband and soulmate. You’re thinking that this could be “forever.”
Well, Patti had this happen to her recently. She dated Rick for 1 1/2 years hoping to get a ring, a wedding date and marriage. She only got surprise, heartache and sadness. She let her imagination take over and pretend that her relationship was more than it really was. She played the part of a pre-engaged woman without any future plans to marry Rick.
When he left, he felt sad too, but he had always told Patti that he didn’t want anything serious. However, when she found out later that he was already engaged to another woman, she realized that he may have wanted something serious, just not with her.
A man can actually bring you into his life and his family and still not want anything serious.
Here’s 3 Ways to avoid being in Patti’s situation and get him to commit to you.
1. Be attractive to yourself and others by living your dream life with or without him. Do work you love, hang out with friends you love and cherish your time with family. If a man leaves you, just know that it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Simply start using new tools to draw that special man closer to you where he feels like he’s missing something when he’s not with you.
2. Don’t be attached to the outcome of your relationship. When you’re not attached to the outcome, there’s no pressure on him. When there’s no pressure on a man, he feels safe and has a spacious feeling where they can really be himself. He doesn’t feel that neediness that some women posses. If you threaten to end the relationship because he won’t commit to you, he’ll loose respect for you and feel pressured to make a decision right away. When this happens, the decision usually is to leave.
3. Understand that each time you and a man get closer, there’s natural resistance from him. It could be just a matter of him reaching his “Love Ceiling” (explained in “How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams” series). If that’s all it is, allow him space to get comfortable being in love with you so he can raise his love ceiling to a new comfort level.
When you know how this works with a man, you’ll understand where he’s coming from and be able to move the relationship forward in a healthy way without blaming him for not doing the relationship the way you want it done.
Breakthrough to Romance!