Whether you’re single or married, it’s easy to make more of a relationship than is really there.
I’ve learned that asking questions is very powerful. You need to know data, but you also need to know the underlying feelings the other person is having.
Here’s how to quit pretending things are fine:
If you’re single and dating, ask these pivotal questions.
These are suggestions from Steve Harvey being interviewed on Oprah Winfrey’s OWN Network: (I recommend doing this face to face):
1. What are your short term goals? It’s important for them to know their short term goals so you know they are excited about something coming up.
2. What are your long term goals? Here, you want to know that their long term goals are different than their short term goals because this is a look into their future.
3. What do you think about me? Find out what their thoughts are about you. They may “think” that you’re funny, smart, or beautiful.
4. How do you feel about me? When you ask this question, this is where the truth really comes out. He may say “I feel great around you and want more of that. In fact, I’m falling in love with you!”
How nice to have this information instead of wondering where they are emotionally.
I have many more pivotal questions in my Membership that can save you from dating the wrong person. Sign up to Become a Member!
If you’re married or coupled, are you living in “pretend-land?” (If you’re single, please read this for your future relationship).
Do you feel like you’re “happy enough”, that it’s “as good as it gets?’
Or, even worse, are you doing what I did in my first marriage? I pretended things were good when the marriage was actually falling apart.
I knew I felt a distance, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I believe now that I had an underlying fear, but I didn’t know how to get in touch with it and I certainly didn’t ask any questions!
If you are doing what I did, I can relate to you.
In fact, I would even have people ask me “how are you and your husband so happy? You’ve been married for 30 years. Wow, that’s so great.”
I was foolish enough to tell them how we made it work.
When I think about it now, I want to laugh at myself because I was so naive. Don’t be naive in your dating life or your coupled life.
Make sure you’re diligently expressing your feelings without blame, shame, entitlement or defensiveness.
Also, make sure that you allow your partner to express themselves to you.
For couples, here’s one quick tool to quit pretending things are fine:
Every Sunday night, ask these questions:
1. How do you feel about our intimacy?
2. How do you feel about me?
3. How do you feel about our finances?
4. How do you feel about our family?
5. How do you feel about work?
(Think of others that relate to your specific situation. For example: children, parents, household issues, etc.). Include anything that might bring dissatisfaction or disagreement in your relationship so you can bring it into the light.
When you take the time to ask these questions, you uncover issues that you wouldn’t have known otherwise.
It’s a great way to connect to your partner and understand feelings from their point of view.
I invite you to join me today to learn more!
1. Mobile App: “Romance Coach on the go” (Apple & Google Devices). A rescue tool to have in the palm of your hand with specific words and phrases to resolve conflicts and lovingly communicate. Male section and Female section included
2. eBook: “Guide to Relationships” A book and a workbook to learn how to Resolve Conflicts and Lovingly Communicate (this is a downloadable version of the App with a Do it Yourself section/built in workbook so you can fill-in-the-blanks with your personal situation and discover ways to communicate that will get your needs met and create a deep bond)
3. Texting Tips Series: A Series of 10 Modules with examples of how to express yourself in a clearer and loving way so you can keep the spark and communication going every day
* How to Have a Win/Win Outcome When Making Plans Through Text Messaging
* How to Text to Keep the Spark Going Even Though Someone’s Having a Bad Day
* How to Spot a Cheater from their Text Message
* What to Say When He/She’s Always Late Through Texting
* How to Text for a Date or Special Night Out With Your Partner
* How to Build a Deep Bond with Texting
* How to Say No and Still Keep the Relationship Strong
* How to Recognize Triggers Through Texting
* How to Deal with Threats to the Relationship when Texting
* How to Avoid Misunderstandings in Texting
4. App Training Podcast Series: A series of 5 (30-45 minute recordings) where Coach Camille takes you through each section of the App so you can understand why you will be saying things differently and how to apply the App to express your feelings and get your needs met in your dating life, marriage or relationship
* His/Her Fault “Love Chat”: How to learn what to say if he/she does something wrong
* My Fault “Love Chat”: How to apologize using specific steps so you will be forgiven, and ultimately loved
* ” Toxic Chat”: How to know if a relationship has become toxic and what to do about it
* “Giving Talk/Receiving Talk”: Giving Talk is in the Male section. It explains how to “give to a woman, court her” and Receiving Talk is in the Female section. It explains how to “receive from a man and not to over function”
* “Sweet Talk”: How to flirt, be playful and speak from your heart, body and 5 senses
5. “How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams Series” or…
“How to Attract the Woman of Your Dreams Series” or…
“How to Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage or Relationship Series”
A series of 12 modules compressed from a 20 hour weekend seminar taught by Coach Camille to give you key tools that worked for her. After her unexpected divorce, she learned the do’s and don’ts of dating, is happily remarried and she and her husband use all these tools that got her these great results. You’ll discover how to literally attract your soulmate or be so close to your partner that you feel the deepest connection possible and you want to share everything with them
* Why looking pretty or handsome isn’t enough to hold a relationship together
* How to interpret “love at first sight”; or determine if it’s really just “chemistry at first sight” and why that can actually be dangerous.
* How to ignite passion in dating or reignite your marriage/relationship by using secret tools that enhance the flow of love and connection
* The same secret tools that I used to have a successful dating life (after being divorced from a 30+ year marriage), and a beautiful new marriage.
* Why you keep repeating the same unhappy outcomes and how to break free of the destructive patterns that keep getting in the way
* How you can manifest the love life of your dreams so you don’t question your partners love for you
* How to create mutual commitments so your relationship thrives during blissful times and stressful times
* How to keep the love going without sabotaging it
—MK, Real Estate Professional, Scottsdale, AZ
Breakthrough to Romance!
P.S. Isn’t it time for you to have the best love life right now? You literally can create your life the way you want it to be. And, it starts right here.